Thursday, October 22, 2015

Living a Life You Love: Tip #3-Be the Bright Spot

Tip #3 in a week long series on Living a Life You Love.
Click the links to read the series IntroTip #1, and Tip #2

Tip #3: Be the Bright Spot

Too often we don't go do something because we're waiting for just the right people to go with. A trip like Disney Land, I could see that! But when it comes to mini-vacations and exploring where you live, sometimes you have to just venture forth, even if maybe the social aspect isn't what you'd dream it to be. 

-Be the bright spot in a group of grays
Sometimes you find yourself with people who are determined to be miserable. That's hard! Don't join them in the pool of woes and misery. Keep positive. Be goofy if you have to. Some may lighten up and realize they are pulling themselves down. Some may just roll their eyes at you and stay grumps. One of my favorite memories while working at the fudge shop was a lady who was just cranky and upset about everything. She was getting after me, complaining about the fudge, criticizing the displays, and just couldn't find anything nice to say. Rather than falling to her level, or even trying to ignore her, I tried an experiment. 

"You're right! Those pieces of fudge are big! How fun to have a piece of fudge to munch on slowly all afternoon!" "Good point, those rows of truffles are crooked. We'll get them lined up so they look beautiful!" "I haven't ever put a pendant on my scarf either. Your scarf is sure pretty though! It matches your eyes!" It got where I had to try to not giggle...this had become a game and I was not about to let her ruin my day. She paid and left. A few minutes later she came back in because I'd given her one too many quarters for her change, and apologized. "Here you were being so sweet to me and I was just awful. I'm sorry. Thank you for not stooping to my level." I just grinned and wished her a good rest of her day. I'd never expected that. I was just doing what I could to not let her mood bring my day down. 

We won't always be able to snap someone out of a cranky mood, but we can keep ourselves from joining them in the pit of despair. 

-Involve the Kids, even if they're cranky. 
If there are young children involved in your life right now it can be so hard to find the oomph to do anything some days. Especially when they are being less than pleasant to be around. Some days those are the days we need to do something the most! We as adults have bad days and days when it's hard to stay cheerful. We have to remember kids do too. Sometimes doing something as a family, or even just as a mom and child during the day, can been sanity savers.
Pop popcorn and snuggle as a family while watching a kids film instead of each tuning in on your own devices. 
Go for a walk. Even if it's around the neighborhood. 
Visit a local touristy spot, even if the kids are crying. 

Some of our recent explorations and family time have been on days Darrow was less than happy (at least not at first...sometimes he cheered up as we went), but boy did we need them. Usually it turned what could have been a miserable evening at home with all of us on short tempers into something we could handle and was less tense.

He's running away from me, crying. He did not want me, he wanted Dad. 

"Neat mom. Stone trees. It's hot. Let's go." 

But what if you don't even have a group to be the bright spot in?! 

Go it alone if you have to!

Whether it's because your honey is working that day and you aren't, you're flying solo in life right now, or you just need some time away from people, don't think you can't build a life you love because you don't have the prefect group or companion to go along with. You can be a bright spot just for yourself and the strangers that pass you. 

Now, I'm not saying abandon your spouse every time you get a whim, but sometimes I think we find ourselves opting out of things we'd love to do because we don't want to go it alone. Before Darrow was born I'd take myself out to lunch at a new restaurant every few months. I loved it! It was rejuvenating. If I didn't want to spend money on a full meal I'd wander around downtown and window shop (and...usually that ended in spending $1.50 on a piece of heavenly fudge). 

If you wait to live and love life until everyone is off work, not busy, in a pleasant mood, and all in agreement, you're going to end up mad at life. Be the bright spot!


  1. Ahh, what a lovely post - and so true. Have a sunshine day!

  2. "Go it alone if you have to!"

    I think this is key, especially for us single people. Waiting for someone else to be available means you miss out on lots of cool things. I've also found that I meet lots of interesting people when I'm out by myself. When you are with someone, you tend to focus on that person, but when you are by yourself, you are more likely to interact with other people.

    1. "When you are with someone, you tend to focus on that person, but when you are by yourself, you are more likely to interact with other people." That's so true! I'm way more likely to go out of my comfort zone and meet someone new if I'm by myself, rather than staying in the safety of my established relationships.


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