Monday, January 19, 2015

Crazy Coconut Bread Crumbles

Hello all!! It's a Monday and there's a post?! What?! I know, it's different, but we are trying to shake things up a bit here and what better way then to start your week off with a Pinstrositeer Pinstrosity?! Yes, I am guilty, I think I broke at least 6 cardinal Pinterest/Pinstrosity rules when attempting this pin :/ I was hungry and weak. It happens to the best of us. Alas, here is my folly for all of the internet to see!

The Original
So I have been on a health kick lately and did a good month of no dairy, gluten, sugar, or grains...this means getting rather creative when cravings come along. For this I really only had one day where I needed some sort of bready substance, here is where Pinterest comes in handy! I found this pin a  while back and decided to give it a shot. Let me preface the photos below...I altered the recipe a bit (I didn't have all of the ingredients it called for...the first red flag, I should have stopped here lol) and obviously had disastrous results. This post is in no way stating that the above recipe is bad, I wouldn't know because in essence I didn't really follow it, but it does look delicious and eventually I will try it and stick the recipe! Check it out.
The Pinstrosity

The pieces that turned out really delicious were the ones with browned spots on them at the top of the paper towel pictured here.

Look how tiny this one was! Also, it was so crumbly it fell apart shortly after this picture when I asked him where he was from...too much pressure I suppose.
Pretty bad right!! It was comical how crumbly everything turned out. So here's what happened;
the original recipe calls for 3/4 cup tapioca flour and 3 Tbs. of coconut flour. There was a little voice in the back of my head that thought just doing coconut flour would be ok (that's all I had at the time)...that little voice was so wrong! Every Pinstrosity bone in my body knew this wouldn't work out, but my stubborn self had to see it in the flesh, err um crumbs haha
So we mixed everything else the same (we substituted the full fat coconut milk for unsweetened vanilla almond I said the recipe was extremely altered here). Can I also mention that this was at like 10 at night and I hadn't had food for a good 15ish hours?? I needed bread and I needed it RIGHT then, so maybe I wasn't in my right mind when I made all these alterations lol
Anyways, we subbed the tapioca flour for coconut flour and I knew we needed something to adhere everything together so I added some xanthum gum (according to the ratio directions on the back of the package). What was supposed to be like a pancake batter was more like a peanut butter cookie textured dough. I put a big spoonful on a olive oiled pan and mahsed it flat to make a sort of flat bread, and then tuned it when it started to look more bread like.
Fortunately the very first one I did actually did taste like bread! It was thick like a flat bread, and wasn't tortilla like at all (like the original pictured). It feel apart and kind of turned into pieces of a flat bread but it was REALLY tasty and the texture was right on!
Now, enter in my sweet good intentioned Chip. He decided to roll out the dough by hand, make them into little cakes and coat each side with additional coconut flour and then brown them. Here is where things got real weird, they literally crumbled if you looked at them wrong. It tasted like straight coconut flour and it ATE up the olive oil so the texture was like a oil/flour mix and they were awful! That being said, Chip ate every single piece anyways haha!
So we all learned a few valuable lessons late that hungry night. Follow the directions, that you can variate a little with not so awful results (our first little cake), Chip will eat absolutely anything if he is hungry enough , and just follow the directions.
I will play with our first little flat bread some because it was awesome, I'm thinking it probably needs some more xanthum gum so that it doesn't fall apart. I'll keep you updated!
Hope you all got a good chuckle out of my kitchen misstep and will take this as a warning...follow the directions! Happy Monday all!
Haha oh man that's good! Oh geeze.


  1. Yup, this was one of those kitchen encounters that.was destined to end in either an innovative breakthrough or humiliation. No middle ground was possible.

    Never let the food feel your fear. It knows!

  2. Hey you you know for next time!!!!

  3. Oops! Live and learn...and don't we end up doing a lot of that around here. It makes life (and this blog) fun though!

  4. Thanks for posting that they taste good! I had all the right ingredients on hand and tried them and they were both perfect and delicious! I had been meaning to try them but needed someone to say they liked the taste. :) Even the kids like them!

  5. I keep hearing that coconut flour soaks up way more liquid than any other flour. Most coconut flour recipes have less than a cup of it, with 4-10 eggs to hold it together and give it enough moisture. That might be something to experiment with.

  6. It worked for Kelly! ^^ Might have to give this a try myself. I'm a firstborn so I'll be sticking to the exact recipe. ;)

  7. I learned the lesson about coconut flour the hard way too. It absorbs soooooo much liquid, you can't make a 1 to 1 substitution for other flours in a recipe. Otherwise you end up with crumbles. Usually tasty crumbles (I used my blue berry muffin crumbles for a nice ice cream topping). That just how the coconut flour cookie crumbles!


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